This is off-topic, but since you asked for it and it is somewhat related (and maybe helps to understand the discussion), I will explain my “answers” to your questions:
Agree! Many people also remove all other content of the page (as the template says). I guess this caused further aggression.
True, it should just happen some time before the user requesting/proposing the deletion forgets about it, because then any argumentation will be a bit awkward. It looks to me as there was some lack of maintenance in the past.
Well, admins check the deletion requests (so that no one “rushes though” and gets everything deleted that they want). The idea of {{delete proposal}} is to make other people aware of an ongoing discussion. Admins usually do not check those, because they are not the masters who decide. Instead, they wait for the community to make a decision and then execute it. Their task is basically double checking and executing the request if the check was passed. (Any admin may correct me.)
I do not understand. You can always comment on the talk page, I would just change the template to signal that the discussion is not done yet.
There are very clear cases, for instance the results of broken redirects report (either change redirect or delete it, but mostly deleting) or spam. I would usually do them right away, but since we discuss, I will not request any deletions. Talking about occasional wiki editors, I would strongly discourage it as well.
I see the problem, but on the other hand, I would suggest to put those pages you are interested in on your watchlist. I often check pages simply because I received a notification e-mail. You can also check, Category:Labelled for deletion (deletion requests) and Category:Deletion Proposed (English deletion proposals). If we extend the time too far, then they will fill up even more (currently 240 in the first category only), but maybe you got a point.
Any further comments on the draft?
@dieterdreist Is everything okay with point 4 now?